LOVE AND FORGIVENESS MEDITATIONS

PRELIMINARIES AND DEDICATION

In order to make the most out of the following analytical meditations, it is important to realise that one should not only observe the analytical mind, but also the emotions and feelings that come up. It is adviseable to read the pages on Meditation Theory (chapter on Vipashyana) and Meditation Practice if you are not used to (analytical) meditation..
It is strongly advised to start with a good motivation beforehand, to take a few minutes to calm down (doing e.g. a brief breathing meditation is very good) and to dedicate the positive energy afterwards.
For this, the following traditional prayers can be used, but feel free to use any other positive and unselfish thoughts:

Taking Refuge

I go for refuge to the Buddha,
I go for refuge to the Dharma,
I go for refuge to the Sangha. (3x)

Setting the Mind to Enlightenment

By virtue of giving and so forth,
may I become a Buddha for the benefit of all sentient beings. (3x)

4 Immeasurables

May all sentient beings have equanimity, free from attachment, aggression and prejudice.
May they be happy, and have the causes for happiness.
May they be free from suffering and causes for suffering.
May they never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering. (3x)

7-Limbed Prayer

Respectfully I prostrate with body, speech and mind;
I present clouds of every type of offerings, actual and imagined;
I declare all the negative actions I have done since beginningless time,
and rejoice in the merit of all Aryas and ordinary beings.
Please teacher, remain until cyclic existence ends
and turn the wheel of Dharma for all sentient beings.
I dedicate the virtues of myself and others to the great Enlightenment.

Dedication

By this virtue may I soon
reach a Guru-Buddha-state,
and lead each and every being
to that state of Buddhahood.

May the precious Bodhicitta
not yet born, arise and grow
may that born have no decline
but increase forever more.

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FORGIVING IN STEPS

- Allow memories, images and emotions to come up in your mind, that you have never forgiven yourself for.
- Can I accept that I am just an ordinary human being with some bad and some good qualities?
- Did I not suffer enough from these actions?
- I have learned and grown, and I am ready to open my heart to myself.

"I forgive myself for whatever I did, intentional or unintentional.
May I be happy, free of confusion, understand myself and the world.
May I help others to be happy, free of confusion and understanding."

- Now imagine in front a person I love and want to forgive.
- Can I accept this person as a human being with bad and good qualities?
- When ready, say:

"From my heart, I forgive you for whatever you did, intentional or not.
May you be happy, free of confusion and understand yourself and the world.
Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, intentional or unintentional.
May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding."

- Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.

- Now imagine in front someone I have hurt
- Can I accept the other as an ordinary human beings with bad and good qualities?
- When ready, say:

"Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, intentional or unintentional.
May you be happy, free of confusion and understand yourself and the world.
Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, intentional or unintentional.
May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding."

- Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.

- Now imagine in front a person I feel very negative towards
- Can I accept this person as a human being with bad and good qualities?
- When ready, say:

"Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, intentional or unintentional.
May you be happy, free of confusion and understand yourself and the world.
Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, intentional or unintentional.
May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding."

- Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.

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FORGIVING OTHERS (From Sogyal Rinpoche)

- Visualise all Buddhas and enlightened beings above and around you
- They shine their compassionate, blessing upon you
- Imagine in front the person you want to forgive
- In the presence of the enlightened beings, say what you have to say
- Tell them what you really feel and why you want to forgive him/her
- Imagine this person looking at you with compassion and understanding
- While telling him/her about your anger and regret, radiate out all your love and compassion to this person
- Know the person understands you and answers with love shining from the heart
- Open your heart, accept their love

ACCEPTING FORGIVENESS (From Sogyal Rinpoche)

- Visualise all Buddhas and enlightened beings above and around you
- They shine their compassionate, blessing upon you
- Imagine in front the person you need forgiveness from
- In the presence of the enlightened beings, say what you have to say
- Tell them what you really feel and why you want his/her forgiveness
- Imagine this person looking at you with compassion and understanding
- While telling him/her about your anger and regret, radiate out all your love and compassion to this person
- Know the person understands you and answers with love and compassion shining from the heart while forgiving you
- Open your heart, accept their love and forgiveness.

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LOVE AND FORGIVENESS TOWARDS ONESELF AND OTHERS

Before being able to really love others, we need at least to accept ourselves as we are.

- I have some bad habits and faults, but am I really all that bad?
- Many things I do don't lead to perfect results, but at least I try to do my best.
- Now simply put a smile on your face, a real smile, not just visualised!
- Next focus the attention to the heart, and sense how a warm, loving feeling develops.
- We are all worthy to receive love
- Let this warm, loving feeling gradually fill up the whole body, and enjoy it!
- When ready, say:

" May I be healed of problems, dissatisfaction and pain
May I be able to forgive myself and find peace
May I be able to live from my heart
May I be happy, with only good thoughts and experiences"

- Breathe in love and forgiveness with every breath, and feel the healing power of giving yourself the space for love.
- Keep this feeling and the smile on your face as long as possible

- Now let this love stream out to others, the people around, the family, friends, the street, town, country, the world.
- Remember people you don't really like; they also just want to be happy.
- Are they only so bothersome because they need to feel loved, just like me?
- Try to have the courage of breaking through the standard habits by overloading them this time with love instead of hatred.
- When ready, offering the following thoughts to others:

May you all be healed of problems and pain
May you all forgive yourself and find peace
May you all be able to live from your heart
May you all be happy and give happiness to others

- Keep radiating warm loving-kindness to everyone
- Don't be afraid your love will run out; true love is a never ending source of energy!
- Only our own feelings of hatred, frustration, impatience and egoism limit the stream of love to others

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LOVING-KINDNESS MEDITATION - FLOWER
A guided meditation by Ven. Ayya Khema

Please put your attention on the breath for a few moments.
Look into your heart and find your own capacity to love. Imagine it to be a beautiful flower that you are allowing to grow. Let this beautiful flower expand, so that you're totally filled with the all-encompassing aroma of love.
Give the gift of this flower of love to the person sitting nearest to you. Make it as large as yourself, filled with the most wonderful aroma.
Hand a flower like that, the most beautiful one you can think of, as large as yourself, with the most delightful aroma, the flower of love, to each person present now as a gift from you.
Present this beautiful flower, containing all your love, to the people nearest and dearest to you. Make it large enough to fill each person from head to toe, beautiful enough to arouse joy and delight.
Hand one to all your friends, giving each one the gift of love from your heart, in the shape of a beautiful flower.
Give a beautiful flower of love to all the people that come into your life; those you've met just briefly, those whom you see often. Let them all have the gift of love from you. Give them the most beautiful flower you can imagine.
Hand the beautiful flower of love from your heart to a person, whom you don't like. Let that person also have the same gift from you, making no distinctions between people.
Make as many flowers of love grow in your heart as possible. Hand those beautiful flowers - all containing love, all full of a wonderful aroma - to as many people as you can think of.
Come back to your own heart and observe the beautiful flower growing and expanding. Cherish and cultivate it. Let the beautiful aroma surround and fill you. Let the feeling of having such beauty within bring happiness and joy to you.
May all beings have love in their hearts.

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